It's All About Ali

So I've officially reached 31 weeks. A lot has happened in these past few weeks so I haven't had much time to keep everyone update. Joel is wrapping up our last house project which is the baby's closet. He's put in new laminate flooring in our entire house, tiled our kitchen, remodeled our bathroom, and will finish the closet this weekend with his dad. Once the closet is done I can start putting the finishing touches on the nursery (I'll be sure to post pictures).
We've also decided on our pediatrician and had a meet and greet with her last week. She literally works two minutes from our house, she has a great disposition, appears to be very interested in up to date information and research, and works with two other experienced pediatricians who will cover for her when she is not available. I'm happy with our choice.
We also finally decided on a car seat. We decided to go with the Chicco Cortina Travel System. The car seat seemed like the most durable out of all the ones we saw and it also has a front adjustable strap. It's a bit heavier than the other ones but I'm pretty sure I can handle it. We went with the Travel System because it was the most affordable for us right now. Eventually I would like to get a jogger, but for now a regular stroller will do.
In news about the pregnancy...all is well. She moves a lot, so much so that I had to ask a few people if there was such a thing as an "increased fetal movement" :). She moves so much that I have trouble sleeping at night/day. I can tell she is growing because her movement literally jolt me and take my breathe away. She also got the hiccups for the first time today, I was pretty excited because I had heard people talk about what that felt like and today was the first time I felt it. I've definitely had my share of braxton hicks contractions, especially lately. I've been trying to do too much stuff lately and know I need a little break. Which I won't be getting until next weekend :)...I'll be working four in row in a day, should be interesting. My Dr. says that he think she'll will be around 8-9 lbs., which is an improvement from 10 lbs..
Here are a few more items I bought for her. My new favorite hobby is shopping for her :).

Congrats Joel!

Well, Joel has just completed his MBA. I don't know how he does it, but he managed to finish in two years, while working full time, and doing countless projects around the house. Oh, and lets not forget about fitting in golf almost everyday of the year. He is one of those people who can take on so much and not get overwhelmed by it all. He just loves staying busy. On top of all this he has been the most supportive and loving husband. While he may be one of the worst massage givers of all time, how much can I really complain when this morning he says "you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen", while he thinks I'm sleeping. I tried hard to pretend that I was still sleeping but couldn't hold back a smile. He is going to make a phenomenal dad!

So congrats to Joel!!! He works so hard and I feel so blessed to call him my husband!

Check out the new kicks...

First pair of Nikes from my dad :)

Learning from the Heart

I just finished reading a really great book called, "Learning from the Heart". The author, Daniel Gottlieb is a psychologist and quadriplegic who writes about what he's experienced and what he thinks it means to be human. I read it in about 4 days, so it's also a nice and quick read. Here are few excerpts from the book that spoke to me the most.



*What I've learned about love (the first and my favorite chapter)

"It seems as if the more we let go, the more we experience love. Love is beyond everything else--anxiety, desire, hope, resentment. Love is openhearted, demands nothing, and needs nothing. It is more likely to visit when our desires are quiet, when we don't need or want much, and when we accept that everything we love is not permanent but is with us at this very moment."

"I'm sure there are as many descriptions of love as there are humans begins who have tried to describe it. Dr. Stephens Post describes altruistic love as a love for all humanity without exception, with abiding kindness and service. This love is a selfless act of generosity of spirit. And sometimes it's really a state of being. There are times when I have experienced love that doesn't feel like action at all. I'm not feeling love for someone--or for something I do. Instead, there are moments when I feel that my being is love."



*So Who Do We Think We Are, Anyway?

"I have been watching dogs and have learned this: They love life fully. We seem to cherish life, but most of aren't fully aware of this day by day. Dogs seem to know that life is good. Dogs also know about altruistic love. Because they don't have egos, they seem to love loving. When we humans love, most of us are timid about opening our hearts all the way. The ego wonders: "Will I be hurt? Will I be loved back? Will my needs get met or will I be abandoned? Dogs don't have these questions. They just love"

"People introduce me as a psychologist and a therapist and an author and a parent and a quadriplegic and on and on. But really who I am is a being who breathes, who feels fear and longing and love and lust and hatred and revulsion and shame. That's all part of the water passing through my fingers. I feel my irrelevance and then I find fear, and then sadness, and then peace. "



*But I Keep Holding On

"We keep holding on to our theories because it's all we have. To let go of something we've always believed in requires a leap of faith--trust in something that is unknowable. And I think the task for all of us is to have faith in our own resilience. When that happens, we are exposed to many more possibilities."



*Listening--The Great Healer (another one of my favorite chapters)

"My most powerful lesson about listening came during the early days after my accident. I noticed that the more I simply listened, the more people spoke to me. And the more people opened their hearts, the more deeply I cared. I listened with an open heart, and people spoke with an open heart. How did this happen? Well in addition to losing many functions in my body, I "lost" all of my personal pronouns. It was always about them--that is, other people--and their humanity. I had no responsibility to change anyone, only listen and learn. And in the process, I discovered how to care deeply."

* For a Change, Do Nothing
"Most humans, I've noticed, are trying to figure out what's wrong and then change it. Whether our goal is to fix what we think needs fixing, to effectively hide our defect, or to finally find security or unconditional love, most of us work very hard to bring about change. And most of us, when we're not successful with that effort, do what I did: work even harder."
"What I've discovered is that the voice in the brain is not the voice of some wise observer. Rather, it's the voice of our own anxiety and insecurity telling us that if we become different, then we will no longer be insecure. I see that critical voice as a scared child saying, Do this and do that...and maybe then we will be okay." Instead of taking that critical voice seriously, try listening to it as an anxious part of your personality that needs comfort and reassurance rather than obedience. The truth is, if we become comfortable with who we are rather than who we think we should be, then we will be less insecure."

*What Our Children See
"I ask parents how they feel about their lives. Like their children, most complain. Some say they don't get enough sleep. Others say they have too much pressure to achieve and too much stress. But, like their children, the parents believe that if they continue on this path, it will lead to a better life "tomorrow". And then we talk about what our children see when they look at us. We become their vision of tomorrow. And of course that's not what most of us want. We have other dreams for our children--that they will find comfort, peace, happiness, and serenity. But where are their role models? "
" You must fix your life. It is an act of love to your children to find meaning, joy, and contentment in your own life."
"So what can we do to help our children look forward to a future filled with hope, true happiness, and gratitude? We need to take care of ourselves."

*The Give-and-Take of Caring for Others
A woman addresses her mother who has been her caregiver for years. The poem begins with a quote of her mothers often repeated advice.

"Mother knows best"

Don't talk
about your troubles.
No one love a sad face.

Oh, mom.

The truth is
cheer isolates,
humor defends,
competence intimidates,
control separates,
and sadness....

sadness opens us to each other.


"So what does is mean to be human? You must decide on your own, but here is what I recommend: When you see a fellow human, first notice the indentation on the others person's top lip (God's fingerprint, same as yours). Then look in the other person's eyes. You will find a human who is tender and vulnerable, one who pursues security, happiness, and love. You will find someone who is capable of great, selfless compassion and one who has been hurt and who, in turn, has hurt others. You will see a hypocrite, a child, an orphan, a warrior, and a hero. You will see someone who wants more love. And if you look deeply into another person's eyes, you will see that person's soul. And then you will discover what you have always know about your own humanity."

Tulip Festival

Joel and I took a short trip to Redmond to visit his parents this weekend. It was the first time that they have seen me and Ali :). We decided to to check out the Tulip Festival, it was beautiful! I've always seen pictures but never had the chance to see it for myself. Joyce (Joel's mom), was also kind enough to let us borrow Megan's (Joel's sister) bassinet for Ali. It is in such good shape after all those years. She also gave us some of Joel's old baby stuff. She saved some of his first hair cut hairs, it's unbelievable how blonde/white his hair was. Without a doubt the most blonde hair that I have ever seen! It makes me wonder what Ali's hair is going to look like. We also got a chance to see Aunt Megan :)...every time I see her it amazes me how much she has grown up since the last time I saw her. I remember when I first started dating Joel how quiet and meek she was. When I saw her this time around she looked and seemed like a woman not a little girl anymore...I can't wait to see her as an Aunt. Ali will sure be blessed with some great Aunts..."Aunt Megan" and "Aunt Nicole". I am sooo excited for them, Nicole kisses my belly sometimes and I know she is going to be there for every step/milestone that Ali takes. Anthony and Nicole will need to start making some cousins for Ali ASAP :).

In news about the pregnancy, I am now 26 weeks and 4 days. Ali kicks me daily and sometimes hard enough that I'm jolted. I've also seen her rotate and kick which is a trip because I feel like I can actually see her. It's amazing how little space is between her and this world. I'm starting to get some pretty bad back pain and it's difficult to get a good nights rest. Joel bought me a prenatal massage for Christmas and I was finally able to use it this weekend...I'm going to have to get another one soon! I am contemplating whether or not I should go see a chiropractor. Right now the best position for me is leaning over, it seems to take a lot of pressure off my lower back . I've also noticed that I'm starting to retain some fluid, mostly in my legs and it's the worse after working. I've got some varicose veins and will be buying myself some full length panty hose soon. My belly button is pretty flat and feels very weird, the skin in that area feels so thin it gives me the heeby geebies, Nicole gets grossed out by it too. No stretch marks yet! My Dr. says that my weight has been "accelerated" which is a nice way of saying that I've gained a lot of weight. The weight has actually been hard for me to deal with. At this point I've already gained 32 lbs. I will have a lot of hard work to do after she is born, but for now I'm just trying to exercise as much as possible and eat as healthy as I can. I've noticed that my face is much rounder than normal and Joel has been having nightmares that I am marshmallow woman :). All in all, so far my pregnancy has been uneventful and typical. Keep us in your prayers that it continues to stay that way.
I am getting so excited to finally meet Ali! I wrote her a letter and put it in her scrapbook that I just started making. I sealed the envelope so the next time that letter is touched again it will be by her reading it for herself...who knows when that will be, but hopefully we will know when the time is right :).

I can't believe I only have a couple more weeks until I'm in my third trimester, this has gone by soooo fast! I actually got a little panicky a few days ago, thinking "I'm not ready!", not only with having everything for her when she arrives but also just being a mom and being responsible for another persons life! I truly want the best for her and that includes me being the best possible mom, the responsibility is huge! By far the biggest responsibility I've taken on yet. I know I'll go to any lengths to make sure she is healthy and happy, but what all that entails...I have no idea! We will make it happen though :).

Thanks Bryan!

Joel's buddy Bryan was kind enough to snap a few pictures of Joel and I for our baby shower invites. They turned out pretty nice! I'm 24 weeks and 3 days here! I've also started to have a couple Braxton Hicks contractions. I talked to my doctor about it and he said it's normal just as long as they aren't regular. Ali's also kicked pretty hard a couple times, I can also feel her move daily.

RIP Sissy

Today has been a sad day. Early this morning my mom found our family dog (sissy) unable to move and barely able to breathe, she was taken to the vet and diagnosed with a massive stroke. She died shortly thereafter with my dad by her side. I know I am not only speaking for myself when I say today has been filled with a lot of tears. It's crazy how an animal can become so much like a family member. She was the best dog...full of life, energetic, sweet, happy, would never hurt a soul. I think what makes me most sad is that unlike people, pets are put here on earth for one purpose...for us to have a companion, and if you treat them right they will only show loyalty and love back to you. They are simple in their love and that is what makes them so special. Sissy will be missed...I like what my Aunt Sue said when she wrote " we can only hope that we can frolic till the end"...Sissy lived a happy life, last week when I saw her she was still that same puppy, it made us forget how old she really was. What better way to live...